His Struggle

It has been a hard year. I might have mentioned that before.

I became interested in this guy, He, over Thanksgiving. He really seemed to have everything together. Handsome, well off, smart, Christian. That wasn’t totally the case.

He’s further behind in self-acceptance than I am. After talking for two weeks (him taking me to a basketball game, out to dinner, etc.), he told me he wasn’t the “relationship type.” We stopped talking.

Later, he told me “sorry,” but couldn’t say what for. He wouldn’t communicate. He was on a classless gay dating app. Tonight, he told me he just wants to make sure he’s ready. So I cut ties and told him “good luck.” I won’t wait around for someone to love me. I have too much self-respect for that.

If he tries to pick up casual conversation again, I’m telling him to stop. But I do respect his struggle, even though that doesn’t stop the pain.

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