The First

I don’t know who I am. That much I know.

But that’s okay. Today I discovered something about myself, though. I have survived a lot. Some say that merely surviving isn’t good enough, but I say that merely surviving the darkest times of my life is the reason I will someday live.

At this moment, I plan to use this to chronicle my journey of conquering depression. Today was my first day on antidepressants. I’m not as a scared as I should be. My sophomore year of high school, five years ago, I tried Prozac to help my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Unfortunately, I went into a tunnel of despair and depression while I took the medication. However, this time, I have faith. I have to have faith.

Today, my psychiatrist told me “we’ll get you feeling better” in such a matter-of-fact tone, that I was taken aback. There was something quite comforting about that statement, though. As if there is a solution to feeling like so many things are going horribly wrong.

I have a final in 12 hours, so it may be time for me to cut this short and hit the hay.

I pray that this medication works out. I pray with all my heart. I know that happiness is something I can have throughout my life. My journey is not toward happiness, but it is certainly away from this storm cloud, soul-sucking plague of a mental illness.

In short, this is about me ascending this life – my life.

Photo on 12-16-15 at 12.54 AM


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